非洲人挑絲襪 朋友被一個(gè)問題困擾了很久：

非洲人在挑肉色絲襪時(shí)，是不是應(yīng)該挑黑色絲襪？

老子是燒鍋爐的鳳凰噻。。。 麻雀和烏鴉一起擺龍門陣。

麻雀說：你是啥子鳥哦？

烏鴉說：我是鳳凰噻！

麻雀：哪有你龜兒子這么黑的鳳凰哦？

烏鴉：你曉得個(gè)鏟鏟，老子是燒鍋爐的鳳凰噻。。。

愛情測試：一封與眾不同的情書及美妙的回復(fù)！ 愛情，是一個(gè)永久的話題！人一旦遇到愛情，就會(huì)激發(fā)他（她）無限的創(chuàng)造力。比如這封來自遠(yuǎn)古的情書，再比如這封火星文的情書，再再比如這封隱藏在摩斯密碼中的情書……而下面這個(gè)又是一封情書，一封與眾不同的情書，看看吧，說不定你會(huì)用得到！

我最親愛的Reshma，請回答下面的問卷，計(jì)分如下：

A、10分B、5分C、3分

①每次你走進(jìn)教室，你的目光總會(huì)落在我身上，是因?yàn)椋?/p>

A、愛我B、情不自禁要看到我C、真的么？我有這么做么？

②每次教授講笑話，你都會(huì)大笑并轉(zhuǎn)過頭看我，是因?yàn)椋?/p>

A、你總是喜歡看我笑B、你想知道我喜歡不喜歡笑話C、你被我的笑容吸引

③當(dāng)你在班上唱歌，我一進(jìn)來你就馬上不唱了，是因?yàn)椋?/p>

A、你不好意思在我面前唱歌B、我的出現(xiàn)影響到你了C、你擔(dān)心我會(huì)不會(huì)喜歡你唱的歌

④當(dāng)你展示童年照片的時(shí)候，我向你要，但你把它藏起來了，是因?yàn)椋?/p>

A、你覺得害羞B、你覺得不自在C、你不知道

⑤出游的時(shí)候，我和朋友都向你伸出手要拉你一把，但是你只拉住了他的手，是因?yàn)椋?/p>

A、你想看到我失望B、一旦握住了我的手，你就不想放開C、你不知道

⑥你昨天等車的時(shí)候，卻沒有上車……

A、你在等我B、你在想著我，沒注意到車來了C、車太擠了

⑦你爸媽來學(xué)校的時(shí)候，你把我介紹給他們，是因?yàn)椋?/p>

A、我將成為你的新郎B、你只想知道你爸媽怎么看我C、就是想把我介紹給他們

⑧我說過我喜歡女孩帶玫瑰。第二天你頭上就戴了朵玫瑰花，是因?yàn)椋?/p>

A、滿足我的愿望B、你喜歡玫瑰花C、碰巧你有朵玫瑰花

⑨那天，是我生日。你一大早6：00就到了廟里，是因?yàn)椋?/p>

A、你希望和我一起祈禱B、你想在我生日那天第一個(gè)見到我C、因?yàn)槟阌行叛觯韵朐趶R里祝福我

如果你的得分超過40，你就是愛上我了，趕快說出來吧！如果你的得分在30-40之間，愛情已經(jīng)在你心中含苞待發(fā)！如果你的得分低于30，你還在懷疑到底愛不愛我？

衷心期待你的回復(fù)……

愛你的，Aakash

————————————————回復(fù)如下————————————————

Aakash，請回答下面的判斷題。

①如果有人坐在第一排，一般來說當(dāng)別人進(jìn)入教室，會(huì)看到他們。

A、是B、否

②當(dāng)一個(gè)女孩笑、瞟見所有人的時(shí)候，這是愛情么？

A、是B、否

③唱歌的時(shí)候忘了詞，他/她會(huì)不會(huì)停下來？

A、是B、否

④我那時(shí)候正在給我的女性朋友看我小時(shí)候的照片，你把湊上來了，對么？

A、是B、否

⑤我不想在出游的時(shí)候拉你的手，你還不明白么？

A、是B、否

⑥我不該在公車站等我的好朋友Anjali么？

A、是B、否

⑦我不該把你當(dāng)作一個(gè)朋友介紹給我爸媽么？

A、是B、否

⑧你還說你喜歡蓮花、花椰菜，香蕉開的花，對吧？

A、是B、否

⑨那是你的生日啊？之所以我會(huì)在廟里看見你，是因?yàn)槲颐刻於既R里，你知道么？

A、是B、否

如果你有任何一個(gè)答案是“是”，那么我并不喜歡你。如果你回答了“不是”，那你根本不了解什么是愛，希望你都明白了！

附上英文原文，感覺上面的譯文有的地方不流暢，煩請精通英文的同學(xué)給指正一下。

My Dearest Reshma,Please answer the following questionnaire.

For Options(A) 10 marks(b) 5marks and(c) 3 marks.

1) Whenever you enter the class room, your sight always falls on me because:

(a) of love

(b) you couldn＂＂t control seeing me

(c) really ... am I doing it?

2) Whenever professor cracks joke, you laugh and turn and look at me because:

(a) you always like to see me smiling

(b) you are testing whether I like jokes

(c) you are attracted by my smile

3) When you were singing in the class, I entered and immediately you stopped singing because:

(a) you are so coy to sing before me

(b) my presence influenced you

(c) you feared that whether I＂＂ll like your song

4) When you were showing your childhood photo, when I asked for it, you hide it because:

(a) you felt ashamed

(b) you felt uneasy

(c) you don＂＂t know

5) During trekking, myself and my friend gave you hand for lifting you and you took only my friend＂＂s because:

(a) you enjoyed my disappointment

(b) you won＂＂t feel leaving my hand after grabbing

(c) you don＂＂t know

6) You were waiting yesterday for bus and didn＂＂t get into your bus...

(a) you were waiting for me

(b) you were dreaming about me and didn＂＂t notice the bus

(c) that bus was crowded

7) You introduced me to your parents when they came to college because:

(a) I am going to be your groom

(b) you just want to know what your parents think about me

(c) just you felt like introducing me to them

8) I told that I like girls wearing roses. Next day, you came with a rose on your head because:

(a) to fulfill my wish

(b) you like roses

(c) by chance you got a rose

9) On that day, it was my birthday. you too came to temple early at 6:00 A.M because:

(a) you want to pray along with me

(b) you want to meet me before any one could meet on my birthday

(c) you want to wish me at temple because you are spiritual.

If you have scored more than 40, then you are loving me. Don＂＂t delay in expressing it.

If you have scored between 30 and 40, love is budding in your heart and it＂＂s getting ready to bloom. If you have scored less than 30, you are in confusion whether to love me or not.

Eagerly awaiting your reply..

Love, Aakash

————————————Reply————————————

Aakash,Please answer the following Yes/No questionnaire.

1) If somebody sits in the first row, normally people entering the class, sees them.

(a) Yes (b) No

2) If a girl laughs and looks anyone, is it love?

(a) Yes (b) No

3) While singing, if somebody forgets lines of the songs, will he/she stop singing or not?

(a) Yes (b) No

4) I was showing to my friends (who are all girls) my childhood photo.

You poked your nose inside..... right ?

(a) Yes (b) No

5) I avoided to hold your hand during trekking. Couldn＂＂t you understand yet?

(a) Yes (b) No

6) Should I not wait for my best friend (Anjali) at the bus stand?

(a)Yes (b) No

7) Shouldn＂＂t I introduce you to my parents as a friend?

(a) Yes (b) No

8) You have said you also like Lotus, cauliflower, banana＂＂s flower. Is it true ?

(a) Yes (b) No

9) Oh was that your birthday. That＂＂s why I could see you in temple. I come daily to Temple. Do you know ?

(a) Yes (b) No

If you have answered "Yes" to any of the question, then I am not loving you. If you have answered "No", then you don＂＂t know the meaning of Love.

Hope everything is clear to you.

你就是一切 眼淚汪汪的寡婦向律師詢問亡夫的遺囑。 “很抱歉，”他說，“但您的丈夫把他所有的一切都交給貧窮寡婦之家了。” “那我呢？”她問。 “你就是他所有的一切。”

英語課 一天，一個(gè)英語老師在課上問一個(gè)學(xué)生問題：How are you?是什么意思？那個(gè)學(xué)生說想，How是怎么的意思，are 是 “是”的意思you是你的意思，就說“怎么是你？”老師很生氣，又問另一個(gè)學(xué)生“How old are you”是什么意思？他說“怎么老是你？”

習(xí) 慣 有個(gè)退休上校遇到他在軍中時(shí)的勤務(wù)兵，勤務(wù)兵也剛好退役了，于是少校就雇他為男仆！并且吩付他像以前一樣每天早上八點(diǎn)叫他起床！ 第二天早上八點(diǎn)時(shí)，這位勤務(wù)兵走進(jìn)他主人的臥室，叫他起來，然后又在上校太太的屁股上打了一下，說：姑娘！！該回家了！